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![]() Upcoming Reese Witherspoon Films by the WESH board allstars as appeared on the forumStealing Equal A romantic comedy about a young homeless girl (Witherspoon) who steals packets of artificial sweetner from a local Starbucks not realizing it's free if you purchase coffee. She falls for the guy behind the counter, who gives her free coffee so as to make her not feel so bad about "stealing equal". The Senator's Wife (Oscar nominee) A heart-wrenching drama about Noreen Davisson (Witherspoon) the home-making wife of an incumbent midwestern Senator (Kris Kristofferson) who unexpectedly passes away on the eve of his re-election. Noreen is elected in his place and is thrown head first into a heated political debate where she must cast the deciding vote about whether or not to use nuclear arms in the war with Iraq. "I Mean It, Who's Paging Me?" A sensual thriller exploring the politics of class, carnal lust and mobile electronics. Page McFlarking (Witherspoon) leads a normal life untill she becomes obsessed with paging her dead twin "from beyond". McFlarking is suddenly thrust into the limelight when a Hollywood producer, Snarky Jumblejots Jr. (Douglass) captures her heart and enslaves her mind with a magical "panty soup" trasnmitted via mobile technologies. Things really begin to heat up when she realizes that she does not own a pager nor does she in fact have a dead twin. Page is forced to take the hot seat and confront Jumblejots in a virtual game of wits and caller id. A Shade of Magenta Set in the early '90's, aspiring journalist (Witherspoon) leaves her small, predominantly white hometown in Ohio to write about the burgeoning underground hip-hop scene in NY and falls for an up and coming rapper to the chagrin of her highschool sweetheart (who's white). Bubbles in Troubles Threatened with recapture after a prison escape, Bubbles O'Crabsnapple (Witherspoon) grabs a 12-year-old as hostage (Mary Kate Olsen). She proves to be named Bubbles too - a quiet "good little girl" always obeying the rules, whom life has given only dismal loneliness and frustration in return. Soon she begins to admire "Bubbo Crabs" for her cheeky pranks against society and her desperate mission to make dreams come true. In a climactic moment, she chooses to stay with the woman even though she could run away. Via hijacks and hijinx, they flee to the idyllic peace of the older Bubbles' childhood home, a cabin on a lake. But the police are close behind, impatient and trigger-happy. She's Got Sass An action comedy in which a snobby rich girl from the suburbs (Witherspoon) is unwittingly paired up with a hitman from the 'hood (Ice Cube) after she witnesses the brutal murder of his childhood friend. The web of suspense deepens when she realizes the murder may implicate her father and his business associates. National Lampoon's Beer Wench In this campy time traveling comedy, a free-spirited homeless woman Gwen Strangieslack (Witherspoon) finds herself magically transported to pre-bubonic England after accidently injesting a cursed eggsack inside a can of Steel Reserve. Strangieslack must adjust to her new surroundings and make ends meet while working as a beer wench at Ye Olde Mutton Shop and Brew Pub. She finds herself falling for the derranged yet charming Blacksmith's apprentice Howie Trouserwrinkle (Russel Crowe) and he in turn tries to understand and appreciate her futurisic ways. Tragedy is eminent, however, as the bulbous eggsack develops and begins to threaten everyone Strangieslack has learned to love. First Niece Witherspoon, a free-spirited sculptor, is the neice of the President of the United States. When her parents are called away to Europe on business, she has no choice but to stay at the White House for a summer. The glowing star that she is, she soon transforms the White House into the "Bright House," saves the failing "First Marriage" and falls in love with a young, clumsy, but good-hearted Secret Service officer. Sample dialogue: "Oval office? Looks more like an office for SQUARES if you ask me!" The Best You Can Witherspoon, a free-spirted sculptor, is bed-ridden with cancer. She falls in love with a clumsy, but good-hearted hospice nurse. He takes her for walks in the wheelchair and shit. Then she dies. Sample dialogue: "I love you." "You can't love me, I'm dying." Always Tell the Tooth Reese Witherspoon (Tammi Turnbuckle) stars as a high school drop out who made right by becoming a dental assistant through local trade school. Forever the perky and charming hand holder, Turnbuckle listens to and discusses real life questions with her patients before major root canals. That is until the day she catches the ear, and the heart, of big city talk radio producer David Boherick (David Schwimmer). When Boherick hires her to become the new drive time therapist for the station, Turnbuckle quickly becomes the talk of the town. It isn't until sleuthing reporter Jimmy Dealey (Matt Doran) uncovers her non-Ph.D. attaining past that Turnbuckle faces total embarrassment or heart-warming honesty. Rated PG-13 for Language & Adult Content. 105 minutes. Nice Capades Denise Carlmark (Reese Witherspoon) is competing for Olympic Gold. She is the best and the brightest figure skater of her generation. Who can possibly challenge Carlmark? Only a colorful cast of characters the world over, that's who. Watch major shenanigans occur as the Olympic Village becomes the Olympic Pillage. Pure Gold! This uproaring comedy is a triple axel in fun! Rated R for Language, Adult Content & Full Frontal Nudity. 97 minutes. Fat Chance Reese Witherspoon stars opposite Demi Moore in this tragedy about a gourmet pastry chef (Moore) and her bulemic assistant (Witherspoon). Things get interesting when Witherspoon is hospitalized right before a big pastry competition. Cameos by Emeril, Julia Child and Carnie Wilson. The Intern A snobby white college student from a small town in Ohio (Witherspoon) decides she's going to California for the summer to intern at a burgeoning gangster rap label for extra credit. The label is run by Virgil Knox (loosely based on Suge Knight), a notorious thug who seems to have no misgivings about exposing the label's pernicious side to the naive girl. She must decide whether to go to the authorities and forego her extra credit or stick out in sunny Cali and risk becoming an accessory. Desperately Seeking Susan Britney Spears and Reese Witherspoon star in this remake. Look Grandma No Hands In this timeless epic, Harper L. Garbledumps (Witherspoon), a young armless law student, comes to inherit a run down cat sanctuary in a small Ukrainian village from her estranged and eccentric grandmother. Garbledumps is forced to manage and maintain the sanctuary despite her physical shortcomings and her inability to truly love the feline species. Obstacles abound as the sancutary's neighbor Harry Spinethumper (Banderas), a dog-loving taxidermist, attempts to undermine Garbledump's operation by a complicated series of wicked foot-related boobytraps. Garbledump's pulls herself up by her bootstraps and learns to fight fire with fire giving Spinethumper a taste of his own fast-acting Tenactin. In a glorious twist of fate (and ankles) Spinethumper and Garbledumps embark on a journey down the road along the switchback next to the foot path of love, and find that no arms are long enough to slap box with god. Oh No She Didn't! a 48 Hours-style racial mismatch/buddy comedy set in 1990. Maeve Mayflower (Witherspoon), a hot-to-trot fashion designer with an eye for taking ideas from hip-hop clothing and making it acceptable for her fellow gated-communities, has gotten a parking ticket for the last time. Fed up with Mayflower's comtempt for handicapped parking rules, Judge Schmendrick (Larry Flynt) sentences Mayflower to community service. Through a hilarious processing error, her community service assignment is to go undercover to help the cops bust a bootlegging ring before they can unleash their most diabolical scheme yet: bootlegging Tairrie B's album! Madcap tomfoolery ensues as Mayflower pushes her world-weary, high-strung, and black pride-preaching partner to frustration and beyond. Co-starring Kevin Bacon, Anthony Bacon, Sir Francis Bacon, Menachem Begin, and featuring Sherman Helmsley as Detective Jive Turkey. Good Friday In this the hilarious fourth edition to the "Friday" franchise, Reese Witherspoon moves into "da hood" as the local church's new preacher. Ice Cube and Mike Epps are ordered by Cube's dad, and the courts, to assist the rookie preacher with decorations for the big Easter Sunday celebration. Just days before the jubilee, problems arise, the least of which is Debo's release from jail, who looks to do some crucifying of his own. Lots of running, swearing and bathroom action ensue. Rated M for Mary Jane. 517 minutes. Mansfield Park Reese Witherspoon plays the lead in this remake of Jane Austen's classic. Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe Sex Tape Watch the young Hollywood couple make whoopie aboard the SS Binger floating adrift atop Lake Havasu. Caught on film by the actors themselves, this "documentary" will allow you into the lives and cavities of the hot couple. Watch as Reese strapes on a a niner and goes to town through Ryan's love tunnel. Watch as Ryan cries as Reese berates him. Pure genius. Rated G for Gynocological. 34 minutes. Also on Reese's Horizon: Freebird Rich School "Fitting In" I Saw Him First! Word is Blonde Her Turn Friendly Competition?
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