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  The Uninformed Guide To...The Nightly News by chris weisbart The Nightly News is a great way to have fun. It is on most of the time throughout the day, and is good for: 1)fun 2)entertainment and 3)being intensly muscular The nightly news is not for anyone. Make sure you have a Television (T.V) and are in a country. How to play The Nightly News: 1) Turn on your T.V.. If there is The Nightly News, watch it. If there is no The Nightly News, go to sleep. 2) The woman and man are married. Unless it is the woman with flipper hands. She is a robot from the future, sent to our time to deliver The Nightly News. 3) Then the man with sports comes. He is their son. He knows The Nightly News the best, and is angered that his parents are giving it instead of him* *unless it is the woman with the flipper hands, she is a robot, and the man with the sports is sad that his father is single and has to do the nightly news with a robot. 4) The picture above the people's shoulder is a real photograph taken by a man named "Ansel Adams". The words they say are not true, except when they talk about fires. If they are talking about fires, turn off The Nightly News and wait five seconds. Then Turn on The Nightly News. If a car is on T.V. then the news is over. Go to sleep 5)If The Nightly News is still on T.V., now is the time when the weather man comes. He is their cousin. He is mentally disabled. 6) If the Weather man is wearing blue glasses that are large in the front, then he is very mentally disabled. 7) Eat something* *except if you are asleep 8) If at any time, the picture above the shoulder is of a rabbit and a syringe (with or without a line through it) turn the t.v. on the side and watch the nightly news again. If no rabbit with a syringe comes on, the nightly news is over. 9) Eat a hamburger.  Click here for Chris Weisbart's Uninformed Guide to Scrabble! |
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