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 The Uninformed Guide To...Scrabble! by chris weisbart Scrabble is a game that is fun for everyone. It can Be played by two or more players. The upwards limit of how many players has not yet been calculated, but is figured to be somewhere between 7 and 1023490. You must have two (1) arm to play "Scrabble" How to Play "Scrabble" 1) Look in your closet. If you see "Scrabble" take it out. If you do not, go to sleep. 2) Open your "Scrabble." Pay no attention to any of the images on the box. It is helpful if you are over 1 years of age. 3) Begin "Scrabble" by seating yourself and your opponent(s) around the Scrabble. Each Player begins by picking a letter that corresponds with the first letter of their name. For example, if your name is "Ryan" you would pick an "R." If it were "Sally" you would pick an "S" 4) If your name begins with a vowel, go to sleep. 5) Place your letter in the corner of the Scrabble that is closest to you. If there is a dispute as to who between two of the players is closer to a corner, it is helpful to use a tape measure. If there are no corners close to you, you have two options: a. You may play behind the person in the closest corner to you, by first bowing to her/him, then offering your letter to him/her. It is customary for the person in the corner (the "Chive") to toss the letterover his right shoulder and say "Gargle my Balls" b. You may, if you wish, go to sleep. 5) The person whose letter tile has the highest number in it's corner goes first. If there is a tie, the person with the most seeds in his pants goes to sleep. if neither player has seeds in their pants they both go to sleep. game play rotates counter clockwise (in the direction that follows the path from where the game is being played to the "clock" on the kitchen "counter") and skips over any player not paying attention or asleep. 6) The Scrabble is played by withdrawling the "Books Stick" (one of the four angled pieces of wood included in "Scrabble") out of the box, one for each player (or "Chive" if there are more than 4 players). The first person to go stands up and in a deep voice says "The Scrabble!" and throws his "Books Stick" across the hall. Each player then gets up from the table and races to where the "Books Stick" lands. The first person to pick up the "Books Stick" and return to The Scrabble is the winner of the first round (or the "Inning" in Scrabble-speak). The last person to the table goes to sleep. The winner of the "Inning" then draws a letter tile while closing his/her eyes. 7) If the letter the person draws fits into the word "SCRABBLE" written on the side of the board (if the letter drawn is either an "S", C", "R", "A", "B", "B", "L" or "E") then he/she places it there. The object of "Scrabble" is to spell "SCRABBLE" on the side of The Scrabble, thereby ending the game of The Scrabble (Scrabble, SCRABBLE and The Scrabble). Repeat step 6 until either: a.SCRABBLE is spelled out on the side of the board or b. all players are asleep. 8) Pay no attention to the pink or blue squares on the board.  |
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