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Ask The Dead Stars

as transcribed by mike spiegelman

TV Guide Announcer
Time now to ask questions to your favorite deceased celebrities as the TV Guide Channel presents "Ask the Dead Stars." Brett Dilbert of Hollywood, California has this to ask the late Vic Tayback, aka Mel on T.V.'s "Alice":

Vic Tayback
(In a dreamlike state, eyes closed) Eternal Sleep...Eternal Sleep...

Brett
Excuse me, Mr. Tayback?

Vic Tayback
Eternal Sleep...What?, Who Dares Disturb Vic Tayback from the tranquil after-life? Is that you, Jesus?

Brett
No, It's Brett Dilbert from Hollywood, California. With a question.

Vic Tayback
You dare arouse me from the dead to ask about my movie career?

Brett
No, your sitcom work. What was it like to work with Linda Lavin?

Vic Tayback
Linda's a true professional. I'm only answering you as a favor to Nick at Nite. Now, do you want to ask me about my movies?

Brett
No. What was Tommy like?

Vic Tayback
Tommy? Who's Tommy?

Brett
You know, Alice's boy, Tommy.

Vic Tayback
What?! Get out before I chase you with a spatula!

TV Guide Announcer
That's all the time we have for "Ask The Dead Stars" on the TV Guide Channel, where celebrities, living or dead, make great time-filling fodder.

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