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Getting Free Stuff In Las Vegas For Only $200,000
by marc song Las Vegas is a truly amazing place. It is possible, for only $200,000, to get FREE stuff in one of the major resort casinos. And you also get to play a lot of fun games for a real long time! The basic idea is to get the casino employees to like you. If they like you, they might give you free stuff. So make them like you! Here are some of my personal ideas on how to make casinos like you: 
Go big. I have found that casino managers, card dealers, and pit bosses tend to like people who place higher bets. Don't bother with the $5 or $25 dollar blackjack tables. Go big, play the $100 - $5000 limit tables. Not only do the casino employees seem to like you more, but the tables are also much less crowded. If you play the cheap tables, I bet that the casino employees think that you don't take them seriously. Think about it: What if some a-hole went to your casino and just played the $5 dollar tables. It's like they are slapping you in the face saying you don't run a classy establishment. So why would you give him any free stuff?? Another way to get free stuff is to play the high dollar slot machines. The good casinos have the "special high-roller" areas with the $5, $10, $25, $50, and even $100 coin slot machines. Make sure you get the player's card at the casino you are at, so the employees know what you're doing. And put it in the machine! I forgot to do this the first time I played, and I was wondering why the casino didn't like me. Again, what if some yahoo only played the 5 cent slots in your casino. It's like he is basically saying that you are a cheap bastard and he wouldn't want a free stay in your casino anyway. And if possible, don't win. I know sometimes you get unlucky and win a couple hands, but I find that if you just put your winnings back on the table, or in the slots if you prefer, you usually end up losing. Losing is good because the casinos like you. Then you get free stuff!! 
Stay there for a long time. Casinos like you when you play their games for a real long time. Think about it: Wouldn't you feel flattered if you invited someone to your casino and they had such a good time that they stayed for a real long time? I'd be so flattered that I would give him free stuff. 
Establish a line of credit. I don't really even know what this means, but I watched someone do it once. If you go to this weird "secret" area, there are all these old Asian guys who just say "I want to establish a line of credit" and then they get a whole bunch of casino chips. (I think the sign in these secret areas says "Bacharach". You know, like that singer guy, I think his first name is Burt. Maybe he invented that game, who knows.) I even tried to use an Asian accent, but I think I botched it. Then I sat down at the table and put my chips on the table at the same time the other guys did. When the casino took the other guy's chips away, I noticed he slammed his fist on the table and started crying. But then he got free stuff. So I copied him and I got free stuff too. At first it was hard to keep my sad face on because I was so happy, but I am very good at it now. 
Make bets at the sports book. The people at the sports book love me. My favorite sport is football, so I put down $10,000 on the Cincinnati Bengals to win the Super Bowl. I think 50,000 to 1 means that they like you 50,000 times better if you bet for that team than if you bet for another team, like the Oakland Raiders. I don't know why, but the guy working at the sports book really liked me after I bet on the Bengals and he wanted me to place more bets, which I did. He then proceeded to give me free stuff. 
Give large tips. This one is self-explanatory. When you tip someone more money, they like you more. They tell the pit bosses that you tipped them, and they like you, and then you get free stuff. After doing all these things, I ended up with a suite on the top floor for free for 4 days. A suite! I saw a guy pay $150 a night for the regular room. Doesn't he know any better? I also got free passes to the buffets. I saw some guy pay $12.50 for that lunch buffet. Moron. I got everything for free. I even got a free pass to the shows. There were also some women who wanted to join me in my free suite, but I turned them down. Those greedy women... I had to work really hard to get my free stuff so I didn't want to share with ANYONE. I only ended up using $200,000, which is only 2 weeks allowance. I can't wait to ask my dad for my allowance next month so I can get more free stuff in Vegas. |
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