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Urgent Message to Teen Wolf Dear Scott, Hey man, I really hope this gets to you in time. I've been watching your movie, "Teen Wolf," and I seriously think you are about to make a HUGE mistake. Geez, I really hope you get this, what with basketball and working at the hardware store and everything else you have going on. But anyway, here's what I wanted to say. I've been watching the opening part of the movie, where we're introduced to you, your dad, your friends, and the kids at your school -- all the major characters. I've noticed these things: 1. You are a regular guy with, as you put it, "a six dollar haircut." Except for one thing. You're going through a lot of "changes" lately and it seems like lots of them involve wolves. (Maybe you are turning into a wolf???) 2. You aren't really one of the "cool kids" at your school, but you do have people you can talk to, i.e. Scott Stiles, your dad, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, your friend Boof. More on this later. 3. There is a girl at your school named Pamela who you really like. She is pretty, blond and popular, but it seems to you like she doesn't know you exist. You're hoping that once she gets to know you she will like you. Scott, this is what I need to tell you. It seems like Pamela only likes popular guys, and even then she doesn't like them for WHO they are, she likes them for WHAT they are. This is leading me to my main point of what I'm trying to tell you. Scott, you should totally go for Boof! I know what you're probably saying -- "Boof? But we're just friends!" -- but that is EXACTLY one of the reasons you SHOULD go for Boof. Scott, I know it's hard to realize it with all the things going on in your life right now, but what you really need is someone who likes you for you, whether you are a teen, a wolf, or a teen wolf. You've never heard Boof complain about your haircut, have you? And she's a cool, laid-back girl! She'll talk to you about anything, even Pamela. And when you made out in the closet I definitely think there was a spark. Also, there is something I think you should definitely know. When they were deciding who should go in the closet with who, PAMELA CHOSE YOUR NAME AND TRADED IT AWAY! She does not really like you Scott, and you can do much better! Scott, I am still watching "Teen Wolf" as I write this, and I have to say I am very worried about the events that are unfolding. We've just gotten to the scene after the big game where you go for pizza and bite the beer can, spraying everyone. Suffice it to say, by this point you are a wolf. And who is the main person getting sprayed with beer? Pamela. Because she is sitting right next to you, Scott! What are you doing? I hope you read this before you make a huge mistake. Love, Leonard Collins, movie watcher P.S. You should talk to your dad as soon as possible. I believe that he may also be a wolf. |
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