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John Kerry: The Facts by paws o'henry Republican political operatives have spent months digging up dirt on Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, and shared some of their findings with lunchboxing. Here are just a few of the things they've found about the Massachusetts senator: -Has three wives -Face is reeeaaal long -Voted for Senate Bill 1163, which called for Laci Peterson to be murdered -Staged the entire Vietnam War so he could boast about serving -Likes sports that regular Americans can't relate to: prefers yachting to owning a baseball team -Catholic -Can't dance -Owns less than 11 guns -Supports legalized interracial marriage -When rapping along to Ying-Yang Twins, doesn't censor himself when they get to the dirty parts -Instead of kissing babies, punches them in the crotch -Voted for Bush in 2000 -Sometimes looks at Internet pornography -Really likes Pepsi Edge -Donated money to Al-Qaeda even after Sept. 11 -Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die -Still wearing trucker hats -Wants to raise the price of gas by a million dollars -Belongs to a street gang -Once sacrified a baby lamb to the devil -Is at this moment plotting a terrorist attack Click here to check out EXCLUSIVE Democratic Convention pics courtesy of lunchboxing!!! |
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