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How Paris Hilton Would Be Different If She Were Male by paws o'henry 1. Name would be even more retarded 2. Semi-nude pictorals with little sister would still be disturbing and incestuous, but not as sexy 3. Only one in ten guys at your office would have downloaded the sex video 4. Presence of breasts and vagina would make him a freak 5. Would be regarded as a ladies man, not a skank 6. Would be on some tacky show like The Bachelor instead of The Simple Life 7. As oldest child in line to take over the Hilton fortune, would be the head heir instead of the airhead 8. Would be considered a huge joke (*no change) 9. Instead of getting drunk and falling down, male Paris gets drunk and falls down in own vomit (Vomit comes from food) 10. No Shannon Doherty feud, unless "feud" is some kind of synonym for "jerk-off marathon." 11. Male Paris wouldn't be as huge in Japan, unless he starred in a comic book about whipping schoolgirls 12. Would have a pretty good shot at being elected governor of California |
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