I admit it Ð I'm very picky when it comes to the dating scene. Sure I want a real hot girlfriend, but there are certain things she could say, certain red flags, that will warn me that the potential for a relationship is doomed. If a girl I meet says one of the following things, then it's probably not meant to be:

1. I have herpes.
2. Let's make it a Blockbuster night.
3. My boyfriend's out of town.
4. I really like the new Britney Spears CD.
5. What's Donnie Darko?
6. O.J.'s totally innocent.
7. Are you hard yet?
8. How much money do you make?
9. Right on.
10. My son just started kindergarten today.
11. Fuhshizzle.
12. I can't wait for Burning Man!
13. I'll have a Bud Light.
14. I went to San Diego State.
15. H to the izzo.
16. I think Ben is more talented than Matt.
17. It's all good.
18. Kill your TV.
19. Are you sure you're not gay?
20. I live in Brentwood.
21. I forgot if I took my birth control pill.
22. I'm a virgin.
23. I'm from Utah.
24. Alrighty then.
25. I'm still in high school.
26. What's an LP?
27. You should see my new SUV.
28. LOL.
29. I hope Lieberman gets the nomination.
30. What's ironic mean?
31. I'm a Vegan.
32. Do you want to come to a Scientology seminar with me?
33. What kind of car do you drive?
34. I thought Vince Vaughn was so good in Psycho.
35. I'm sleeping with Vince Vaughn.
36. My name is Paris Hilton.
37. I got this tattoo when I was a Tri Delt.
38. I got this tattoo at Ozzfest.
39. I got this tattoo at Lollapalooza (2003).
40. They had Lollapalooza back then?
41. Do you have any GHB?
42. Who are the Beatles?
43. Aren't the Beastie Boys like, dead?
44. I don't believe in pre-marital sex.
45. My divorce is almost finalized.
46. I have five cats.
47. I just love going to the Sunset strip.
48. These aren't real.
49. I can't go out tonight, I have to wake up early for church tomorrow.
50. Do you want to come to my Bat-Mitzvah?
51. Do you have any heroin?
52. There was a George Bush senior?
53. I think Hitler is totally misunderstood.
54. I loved Titanic.
55. Who's Mark Hamil?
56. You're Jewish? I heard Jews were cheap.
57. My dad's the president of the NRA.
58. My dad's the president of the United States.
59. Can you help me break into this car?
60. I'll have a Long Island Iced Tea.
61. I smoke Winston Slims.
62. What's Trainspotting?
63. I totally thought Clay should have beat Rueben.
64. Who was that Paula Abdul chick?
65. I'm Paula Abdul.
66. G'day mate!
67. You feel me?
68. Echen sprecken Deutsch.
69. No hablo ingles.
70. Can I borrow five hundred dollars?
71. The doctor said this rash should clear up real soon.
72. I used to date Scott Baio.
73. I'm Scott Baio.
74. I'm Tom Bosley.