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 A Review by jamie flam Compiled with the help of frankie koeller, quarterbar, and jason betrue I have an extremely mild case of dry skin. So mild in fact, that you may even say that I have completely normal skin. But still, I don't like to "take chances", so I have decided to take this new drug on the market called "Uncle Mort's Dermo-Creme". It was recommended to me by my two pals: Frankie and Noah. They also have extremely mild cases of dry skin, perhaps even less extreme than mine, if that is possible. Last night we were taking a look at the bottle and realized that there are a couple side effects. Nothing that would inhibit me from using this "miracle drug" that I can hardly tell is even working, my case is so unextreme, but it's helpful to know that if something barely weird is going on with my body, it may just be Uncle Mort's way of saying that his tonic is working it's magic. Here's a small look at the list of what they call "frequent maladies associated with the drug": Phantom Tail Sour Chest Prolonged Painful Erection Weird Hair Uncontrollable Orgasm Ol' Crackley Blood Athlete's Leg Fire Shorts Grandpa's Whistle Fuzzy Lung Feces Helmet Horrible Fart Spray Hell Arm Danger Guts Ouch Eyes Incomplete Death Mexican Toenails Irreversible Crippling Syndrome Dissappearing Spine Hocus Nosus Wrinkly Teeth Endless Depression Disease Pain Finger Wrongful Breath Occassional Reaper Shallow Grave Reindeer Ass Stink Tits Carnival Jacket Gibberish Blathering Acid Cough Bloody Torso Carpal Tunnel Face Total Baldness Lack of Limbs Rebellious Teen Disorder Jim J. Bullock Syndrome A.I.D.S. Gohnorreah Lowered Sexual Drive Lesion Abrasions Smoke Sneeze Shirtless Chest Dewey Knuckles Dingleberry Fever Huge Face Crispy Touch 7 Years Disease Gopher Butt Lack of Talent Collapsing Brain Imploding Heart Horror Hiccups Bouts of Stumbling Fishlips The Fumbles The Willies Juicy Ones Magic Hands Strange Magic The Common Cold Extremely Dry Skin |
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