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by jeff berson, jamie flam, eric steuer, rey valle and chris weisbart For those of you not in the know, in retaliation for the vile and wicked nation of France's lack of support on the Iraq crisis, all Congressional cafeterias will be serving "Freedom Fries" and "Freedom Toast" instead of their French namesakes. But this begs every able bodied American to ask him or herself the question, "What will we do when other evil and ignorant countries show straying allegiance?" Well, just so that our representatives will have more time to work on making our country a better place and less time liberating nasty foreign food names, Lunchboxing has come up with a list of other foods that may need a name change when international crises occur. So give up those boring old 'international' food names and express your patriotism with one of these exciting new names! Gefilte Fish= Freedom Fish Burritos= Liberritos Escargot= Star Spangled Snails Miso Soup= Me So American Soup Chow mein= Bill of Rights Noodles  Mushu Pork= Alabama Hamhocks Spaghetti= Spaghettisburg Address Wontons= Crispy Kansas Chips Baba Ganush= "Ralph Macchio's American Burger" Quesadilla= John Jay's Cheese Toast Calzone= Arkansas Sauce Helper with Meat Fettucini= General Custer's Last Meal Garlic Bread= Lousiana Purchase Recipe #3 Canadian Bacon= Pig Back Fat Hot and Sour Soup= Joannie Loves Chachi Soup Matzah= 13 Colony Unleavened Mineral Squares Falafel= The Donald Rumsfield Super Sandwich  Curried Chicken= Zesty Justice Meat Matzah Ball Soup= Oregon Trail Flavored Circle Rations Chimichanga= Lincoln Memorial Chicken Snax  Crepes= Quaker Feed Shish Kebab= Samuel Clemens Riverboat Skewers Pizza= Great Depression Tasty Cheezy Dough Sushi= Rushmore Rice Rolls  Ratatouille= Dred Scott Decision Stew Pad Thai= Plessy vs. Ferguson Noodles Szechwan Pork= Sewards Folley Pig Mash Iranian Lamb Medalions = ZestytimeTM American-Style Fun Pops Fortune Cookies= New Orleans Voodoo Psychic Sugar Enclaves Danish pastries= Lady American-e-o's And why stop at foods, American leaders?: 
French Kiss= Givin' Her the Stars and Stripes French Maid= American Testicle Duster The French Quarter(New Orleans)= Humpsville, U.S.A. Victor French= Good Ol' Fashioned Yankee Christ Lover French Bread= Pentagon Pumpernickel French Curve= American Drawing Doodad Gizmo French Stewart= American Douchebag French Braid= The Lewis N' Clark Yank n' Grab French Cuffs= Homegrown Ten'see Shirt Compon'nts French Tickler= Heterosexual American-My-Tractor -Man's -Got -a -Backache Toy Frenchy (from the movie Grease)= San Franciscan Man-Whore |
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