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 Jamie Goes to Hollywood Presents: Pinstripe Surprise by jamie flam I have an idea for a romantic comedy. In many ways it is just like every other romantic comedy in that it is a "love story with laughs", as I like to say. But what makes it different than other movies of the genre is that my movie stars Sandra Bullock. And maybe Hugh Grant and/or Matthew McConaughey. I am also open to Colin Firth. But who is in the movie bears no importance. It's the story itself that will tug at your heartstrings. And I don't know about you, but my heartstrings need a good tuggin', what with life being all crazy tumultuous and stuff these days, am I right? The movie starts with the opening credits, which I envision will go along to the beat of a Frank Sinatra tune. But not "New York, New York" or the "Oops There Goes Another Rubbertree" song they play at L.A. Dodger games when they show bloopers on the big screen. A more obscure one, from the third or or fourth disc of a Frank Sinatra retrospective box set. A rare song like this says: "This romantic comedy is different from all the others. This romantic comedy is also kinda artsy." And people really seem to like art. Another thing to keep in mind regarding the opening credits is that it will be in cartoon form, a la a 1960's French film. This will be done to take the viewer back to a simpler time. France, perhaps. In the 1960's. As the Sinatra song ends we fade into a shot of a beautiful apartment building in Chicago or San Francisco. Actually, let's make it New York. We hear a phone ring and then cut to the interior of the apartment where we see Sandra Bullock eating ice cream and flipping through a magazine. Slightly annoyed, she picks up the phone. Here is a segment of her phone conversation: Sandra: Hello? Cheryl: Hi! I was just calling to invite you to the Yankees game this afternoon. Sandra: The Yankees? But I hate the Yankees! You know that! I hate all professional sports and what they represent. Cheryl: I know, I just thought it might be fun. Also, that one guy you went on that date with last week will be there. Sandra: Oh my god, then definitely not! Cheryl: You know Sandra, you are going to have to settle down one of these days. Sandra: I know. It's just that it's hard to settle down when I am still working as a waitress at a coffee shop, barely making enough money to survive. And so on and so forth. At this point Sandra hangs up the phone and walks around her apartment, which is absolutely gorgeous. Amazing architecture, beautifully furnished. It's clear that this New York waitress has a sense of style. Now if only she can find the right man to enjoy it with! But this will not be easy. As you may have ascertained from the phone conversation, Sandra has a tough time with commitment. She also has issues with being a waitress and the money problems it creates for her. And with her hate for professional sports, it couldn't be easy for her to live in a baseball crazed city like New York where everyone is positively infected with Yankeemania! We instantly start to feel for our protagonist. She clearly has similair issues to us. The next few scenes further develop Sandra's character, as well as a couple of her friends: Cheryl, who loves to eat ice cream and talk about men, and Davina, who is black and sassy. They are all best friends and go to each other to talk about about men and dating and eating ice cream. Cheryl works in an office, and Davina works in a different office. It turns out that Davina's new boyfriend works for the Yankees. He is important there. He is going out with Davina because she is extremely attractive. And sassy! Anyways, when he informs Davina that there will be a Yankee Benefit Ball and all the players will be there, Davina gets really excited because she knows she can set Sandra up with one of the players, depsite her reservations about professional sports. Here is a snippet of a phone converation she has, trying to convince Sandra to go: Davina: You'd be surprised, hon. Some of the guys on the team are very nice and very single. And they are worth millions! Sandra: But I don't care about money! I hate professional sports, and everything they represent. There is no way in hell I am going to the Ball, Davina. No way, no how! At this point, the screen cuts to a shot of Sandra and Davina walking to the Yankees party in stilletos. It's funny because we just saw Sandra say she absolutely wouldn't go, and now she's totally going. This cut puts the "comedy" in romantic comedy. Sandra feels anywhere but at home at the Yankees Ball. Davina introduces her to players left and right, but Sandra is unimpressed. There may even be a cameo by Yankees short stop Derek Jeter, assuming that the movie is filmed in the off season and he is into the idea of playing himself in a Sandra Bullock romantic comedy. But we'll leave that to the casting people. They are pros when it comes to casting. A real class act, all of them. But enough about the casting people, and back to Sandra. At one point at the ball, Sandra is left by herself while Davina (who is drunk off her ass) takes her boyfriend to a backroom to make drunk love. I forgot to mention that one of Davina's character quirks is that she is always horny. As Sandra stands alone, she is approached by fictional Yankee Davey Dillinger. Davey Dillenger is the Yankees newly acquired outfielder. He is handsome as hell, and was a major star only a couple season ago. After some injuries, however, he has been traded around the league. At 29, some say his best days are behind him. But others think that if he meets a nice, beautiful working-class girl who will put him (and his still huge ego) in place, he could be an all time great. But where will we find such a girl? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? SANDRA! Sparks don't fly as immediately as you 'd want them to between these two. In fact, Sandra is absolutely repulsed by Davey at first because he makes some off-color remarks about women and politics which totally rub her the wrong way. But it doesn't take long for Sandra to realize that she has to be open minded in order to be rubbed the right way. Translation: Davina gets back from her utility room sex romp and urges her to give Davey a chance. Needless to say, when a sassy black woman tells you to do something, you do it! So when Davey asks Sandra to meet him for a drink after the next days' doubleheader against the Rangers, she is all game. The next few scenes are really funny, and there is a montage scene of them slowly falling for each other, despite their inherent differences. By the last game of the baseball regular season, there is a full fledged romance in the works. The Yankees are one game away from first place at this point, and it has to do with Davey's re-emergence as a legitimate scoring threat. He has 60 homeruns and bunches of stolen bases as well! Everything is hunky dory until he gets the news: Sandra has cancer and will die the next day. He is faced with some major decisions. Will he go to the final game of the season where an entire team and legions of fans need him to have a huge game, or will he go see his new love off to heaven?? Game day. No one knows what Davey will do. He is yet to be seen in the dugout or the hospital. Sandra watches on her hospital TV nervous with anticipation. She gave him his blessing for the game, but still wants nothing more than to hold her precious Davey in her arms before she passes on. By her side is her Irish dad, who is overprotective. He may also be stereotypically Italian. I haven't figured that out yet. Anyways, as the teams are announced, Dave emerges from the clubhouse to the roar of the crowd. The game begins. It's his turn to bat. He looks to the sky and points his bat. The TV screen closes up on his mouth as he says "This one's for you, Sandra." He then hits the longest homerun in the history of baseball. Consequently, it's off of the new, hot Japanese pitching sensation Hoku Choru, who was hyped earlier in the film. But that's completely irrelevant. The next four at-bats he does the same thing. Four more home runs for a total of five on the day. Plus, he makes 6 great infield grabs, and saves a child who falls from the rafters. Sandra looks on in a mix of joy and pain. After the game is over and the Yankees have clinched a first place win, Davey skips the press conference and heads to the hospital to see Sandra, but no one is in her room. She died right after his last homerun....or so you THINK! He falls to the floor crying, but who comes from behind and holds his hard, muscular upper body? SANDRA! Turns out she was misdiagnosed! The movie ends here with a photo montage of their wedding to a different Sinatra tune. Then, during the credits they show hilarious bloopers from the filming. One of them has Sandra trying to say her line but then totally messing it up. The entire cast and crew are laughing hysterically, but it's really not that funny. |
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