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 Two Reviews About The Cartoon "Popeye" by jamie flam and jeff berson "The "Popeye" Cartoon is Both Good and Bad" by jamie flam The popeye cartoon is both good and bad. It is good for many reasons. It is also bad for many reasons. I have a threefold explanation for each. Let me preface, however, by saying that I am not especially fluent in the art of "folded" answers. Like two weeks ago, for instance, I was talking with this one guy about something, and I told him I had a six fold answer to his question. It turned out to only be 4 folds. Bad planning on my part. Then a day or maybe three days after that I was talking to some dude about whatever, and I go ahead and claim to have a four fold answer to his question. Five folds later and this asshole is laughing in my face. I felt like a complete dipshit, but then I deserved to feel that way. I was acting like a real jerkoff. Anyways, here we go: Why the Popeye cartoon is Good: -character development -Visuals -historical accuracy -Precursor to Robin Williams film Why the Popeye cartoon is Bad: -Need I even get into it?  So there you have it. The reasons, in my opinion, why Popeye is both good and bad. Wait a minute....Jesus. Fuck me. I blew this one to shreds didn't I? What's your deal, Jamie Flam? Christ of kings. Please allow me to pick myself apart here, it's the only way I'll ever learn. First of all, I completely fucked up when I said I had a threefold explanation for each. Looking at my first answer, it's quite obvious I have four folds. Smooth move, Flam. On top of which, the last fold isn't even necessary, seeing as how I despise that Popeye film they made. I mean, seriously have you seen it? Complete garbage. Shelley Duvall? Absolutely embarrasing. Robin Williams not so much better, although better enough to note a difference. Although, let's be frank, not even Dave Coulier himself could pull that off with even the slightest hint of fluidity you would need to capture the essence of the character. Anyways, point is, I could have left that out, met my fold quota, and held a completely viable backup to my topic sentence. I guess I learned my lesson. But then, I said that after I had that conversation I mentioned earlier. The second one I mean, where I overshot the fold by one. Fuck. And you know what, let's just not get into the second explanation. To be honest, I really don't have that many reasons for thinking the cartoon is bad anyways. It totally entertains every time, and as I mention in my reasoning for the cartoon being good, the characters completely kick tail, the visuals are extraordinary, and it depicts the life of a spinach eating sailor and his hamburger eating pal and their quest to fight the evil powers of Brutus with such historical accuracy it boggles the mind. I rest my case. Popeye is the best cartoon sailor of all time, hands down.  "One Order of Revenge" by jeff berson I woke up Saturday morning anticipating a new Popeye cartoon. I fixed myself a caramel apple and began to watch the finest half hour of cartoon history. Popeye began the episode on a sailboat with Wimpy, Olive Oil, and his boy Sweet Pea. Brutus wasn't anywhere in sight. They were listening to Depeche Mode or some shit. Popeye went to the grill to check on his burgers, they were overcooked, but he didn't care: he had a beautiful wife, an amazing baby boy, and a cool ass homeboy. He brought the burgers out and Wimpy was freaking out because Popeye didn't have any Diet Coke at the bar. Wimpy quickly calmed down when he smelled those burgers. Then another boat came racing along them, blaring some Primus. It was that punk-ass Brutus. Brutus hopped onto Popeye's boat, grabbed the burger tray and split. Popeye was pissed off because Brutus made a fool of him in front of his wife and kids. Popeye took a bite off his burger, swam like Olympian Greg Louganis to Brutus's boat, and knocked him the fuck out with a uppercut to his jaw!! Booyaa. Don't mess with Popeye!! Did I mention that his burger had spinach as a topping!!! Un"fucking"believable!!! |
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