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Harper Flies Away by joe harris  "I'm so excited to go on vacation in Texas today!", Harper proclaimed as she awoke.  "I can't wait to go shopping for pretty new dresses," said Harper  "But Oh No!" Harper gasped,"I wish we didn't have to fly there. I'm probably going to die in a plane crash before we even get there."  "I better watch the weather station to make sure it's safe to fly today," said Harper. "Oh fuck me!" Harper exclaimed,"There's a thunderstorm warning." "Yes, in Maine. Good thing we're going to Texas," said Joe. "UUUUgh...I better take a valume now," Harper moaned.  "Do you think we're going to die today? Oh God, did you see all the cops outside? What if they found a bomb? I hope they strip searched this Arab," Harper ranted. "I wouldn't get on this plane if I didn't think it was safe," explained Joe, regreting his choice of words. "Yeah whatever, you just care about yourself, fucking creep," declared Harper.  "Hi, I need to board first so I can speak to the Captain, please. I just need to ask a few questions before we go," said Harper to the Check-in Lady. "I'll see what I can do," grunted the Check-in Lady. "Geeez, what a bitch," Harper thought.  "Goodbye world. It's been a nice life. I know you won't miss me anyway," cried Harper as she boarded the airplane.  "Do you think we'll have bad weather on this flight? Do you expect it to be bumpy? Where'd you learn to fly, anyway?" Harper asked the Captain.  "Maybe I should just take one or two more valume before take off," decided Harper.  "I need to watch your watch for the first 20 minutes of the flight. That's when most accidents occure, you know. Don't you dare go to sleep on this flight, jerkwad. You better keep talking to me," Harper demanded. "...Please remain seated until we've reached cruising altitude...," said the Captain over the loudspeaker.  "I have to pee sooo bad. When are they going to start serving wine? Are you asleep?" griped Harper. "Huh? Peanuts?" Joe replied. "I hate you," said Harper.  "Why are we shaking so much? Is this a thunderstorm? I don't feel so good. I have to pee soooo bad. Hurry up. What's the damn problem in there!" Harper thought while waiting to use the restroom.  "What do you think the weather's like in Texas? Is it safe to land in all this turbulance? What if this pilot sucks? I have to pee again," said Harper as the airplane approached the Texas airport. "Oh Jesus," groaned Joe.   "I told you we'd get here in one piece," said Joe. "I feel funny. I'm exhausted. I have to pee again," Harper mumbled.  There's my darling baby Harper," Harper's mommy cried out. "How was the flight?" "Uh...I don't remember" Harper stammered. "Oh Jesus," Joe sighed.  |
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