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by paws o'henry, chaz weinheart, and jamie flam CIA Director George Tenet has resigned, citing "personal reasons." How will the head of the spy agency spend his retirement? Personally selling drugs in inner-city neighborhoods Operation: Oil Change Freaking wife and kids out by hiding in the yard covered by dead leaves and grass Studying to become first current or former CIA operative to learn a Middle Eastern language The Celebrity Golf Tournament on Terror Overthrowing communist leadership of local Trader Joe's Finally getting around to watching, not understanding the entire Twin Peaks Crying; Minesweeper; Crying; Minesweeper Looking in mirror and reciting lines from A Few Good Men Investigating "burritos of gas destruction" Reconnecting with old friend Osama over iced tea Acting as lead consultant to the new 007 film TERRORPUSSY Writing spy novel about heroic CIA director who -- amid unsuccessful search for weapons of mass destruction in imaginary nation of "Hiraque," prisoner abuse at the "Habu Ghraib" prison, and betrayal of U.S. secrets by "Achmed Chilabee" -- stoically resigns to protect president "George W. Asshole." Raising "might order a pizza" alert to orange |
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