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Rules For The Lunchboxing Fight Club drafted by LFC co-presidents jason betrue, jamie flam, and chris weisbart Gentleman, welcome. This is Lunchboxing Fight Club. If you've been here before, you know there are rules. Rules you must abide by. You have a choice. You play by these rules, or you don't. If you don't, well, plan on people talking shit as soon as you leave, and look forward to an expanded set of rules that put your shennanigans on display at future meetings. We will NOT tolerate anything less. That said, there are only 200 or so rules for LUBO Fight Club, so listen up! RULE #1: Tell people you want to think that you are cool about Lunchboxing Fight Club. RULE #2: Try to bring your digital camera and some firewire so we can immediately upload pics to the web! RULE #3: Once you are in, you can only leave the club if you find a hot girlfriend. RULE #4: Fight Club should NOT start until after 10:00 on Wednesdays since most people will be watching The OC. RULE #5: Not to discriminate or anything, but absolutely no big scary Samoan people. RULE #6: It's totally cool if you don't want to take your shirt off. RULE #7: No cursing! RULE #8: We take turns putting on CD's. Nobody is allowed to put in their own CD until the previous CD is over. RULE #8a.: DO NOT play that one Pixies song from the end of the Fight Club movie for some weird sense of nostalgia or something. It comes off terribly lame. RULE #8b.: No Classic Rock. RULE #9: Fight Club meetings can only be cancelled for bowling outings, walks around the lake, or hanging out with your girlfriend. RULE #10: Only one token Southern friend per meeting. RULE #11: The Chuck Palahniuk novel Fight Club, or any other contemporary fiction is to be discussed only minimally -- as in "Yeah, it was great." Extended conversations about literature are to be saved for the Lunchboxing Book Club. RULE #24: Ask more about how you can get involved with the Lunchboxing Book Club! RULE #29: For Godssakes CHEER UP!!! RULE #37: While not illegal, kicking is more or less discouraged. RULE #45: Maybe don't tell your grandma about Fight Club. She's old and it will probably worry her. RULE #61: No current or former pro athletes. RULE #62: No current or former collegiate atheletes. RULE #63: No current or former little league athletes. RULE #74: If you are willing to offer your basement, PLEASE make sure it is carpeted and that you have a cable-ready television set available for those not currently fighting. RULE #86: If someone is crying, that's normal. They are probably in a fight with their girlfriend. Just look away and pretend not to notice. RULE #97: SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THAT POTTY MOUTH! (See Rule #7) Rule #104: You are more than welcome to bring snacks, but please try to bring enough to accomodate everyone. Rule #105: Jason is allergic to Cool Ranch Doritos so try to stick with Salsa Verde or Nacho Cheese, when possible. RULE #106: Actually, Jason just remembered, Salsa Verde doritos have meat products in their flavoring, so try to stick with Nacho Cheese (He's vegetarian). RULE #107: Jamie sprained his thumb a few years ago and its one of those reccuring injury type things, so try to avoid that, when possible. RULE #109a: Tim may not bring any friends we don't know, even if they are "in from out of town." RULE #109b: No angel dust EVER! RULE #115: Do we really need to say anything about the groin shots? C'mon people. RULE #124: No ice skates. In fact, no skates, period. RULE #125: Fight Club is no place for Snoopy or Snoopy related paraphernalia, mugs or gifts. RULE #125b: Sanrio items are also discouraged. RULE #131: Work-related conversations are to be left at work, on AOL instant messenger when possible. RULE #138: No fire-breathing robots, for obvious reasons. RULE #139: Peter Von Pinnon's decision to wear a cape is not a reflection of the image Lunchboxing's Fight Club wants to project. RULE #148: Please, no overalls. RULE #156: You can leave whenever you want. Unless you carpooled, in which case you should make sure those you picked up have rides back. RULE #171: Don't bring up spirituality unless you are certain the person you are talking to is open to it. RULE #190: Just be yourself, man. |
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