lunchboxing.com :: taking your lunch money since 1983

Where Are They Now?: Head of the Class

by jamie flam and devon lester murphy

If you were a child of the late 80's and 90's chances are you got more of an education from ABC's hit TV series "Head of the Class" than you did in your actual classroom. Yes, from 1986 to 1991, teacher Charles P. 'Charlie' Moore not only taught a class of exceptional students Science or History or whatever, he taught a bewildered America how to laugh, how to cry, and most importantly how to 'not do the drugs.' It was a good time and the streets were safer as a direct result. Or so we here at lunchboxing love to think. But where is the cast of this epic show now? Where is all-star "teacher" Howard Hesseman? I mean, surely he resides in all of our hearts. But what about physically? Is he dead? Dying? Living in a shitty duplex? What about the rest of the dynamic cast? Surely the show propelled them all to soaring heights, right? Well, we did the research and are proud to have the results for you here on lunchboxing. See if you can figure it out for yourself!

1. Unsuccesfully attempting to get on celebrity reality shows
2. Auditioning for role of "Indian Guy"
3. Praying to god for international syndication; blowjobs
4. Auditioning for role of "Snobby Black Girl"
5. Watching Better off Dead on loop and crying.
6. Drifting
7. Auditioning for role of "Nerd"
8. Doing speaking engagements at AA meetings across the country
9. Auditioning for role of "Fat, Horny Principal"
10. Living in regret
11. Cumming
12. 5 time Infomercial crowd member
13. Has own internet web-blog
14. Occasionally confused for cast member of E.R.
15. Auditioning for role of "Sort of Fonzie-ish Jew Pretening to Be Italian"
16. Auditioning for role of "Wheel of Fortune Contestant"
17. Applying for job at Borders, buying Self-Help book after interview
18. Keeping fingers crossed that forcing child into acting will prove fruitful
19. Soliciting no solictor signs to local business
20. Has secret crush on George Clooney
21. Wasting away in jail
22. Cruising down Santa Monica Boulevard in limousine, watching the sun set, listening to music, stopping at Howard Johnson's to pick up a passenger.
23. Sucking virtual dick
24. Thinking "At least I'm not one of the kids from ALF"
25. Thinking of guest spot on Moesha as "The Good ol' Days"
26. Approaching Howard Hesseman at Farmers Market, getting snubbed
27. Bike, Porn enthusiast
28. Placed 1,587th in Boston Marathon
29. Jacking me off (and its not too shabby!)
30. Co-wrote Fellowship of the Rings (fan fiction)
31. Season ticket holder for the CBA's Idaho Stampede
32. Writing for lunchboxing.com, getting rejected
33. Examing scratch on 1982 volvo
34. Writing script for Head of the Class reunion episode, praying
35. Listening to Bob Marley's Everythings Gonna Be Alright, smashing stereo with golf club
36. Standing by chip rack in 7-11, watching the Keno machine.
37. Ironically teaching misguided overachieving youngsers at local high school
38. Unironically snorting massive amounts of cocaine
39. Occasionally bathing.
40. Just hanging out, or whatever

Now check out where the cast of Grease is now!


		[2.23] My Turn #1 / My Turn #2 [2.21] Manicorn's Lessons [2.15] The Beard Portraits [2.08] Original Hardy Boys Covers [2.05] Favorite Workplace Memos More...


		[3.30] Baby Got Book (Worst Thing Ever?) [3.29] Froggy Nana [3.24] JTT Super Site! [3.23] Mind The Gap [3.22] Too good to be true! More...