web hit counter


Or...

At Work, Bored, Sleep Deprived and Psychotic

by jason betrue, jamie flam, and paws o'henry

Milk is one of those "few things in life." But take it away and all of a sudden conundrums appear. So please read this for informative information. Unless of course... Well, you get the pictures! As they say: LIST BELOW.

1. It appeals to a wide spectrum of people in many land-countries
2. Commercials
3. Try it from a thermos!
4. Funny because it's True?

5. All of the other Got ____? that have sprung up as a result of it.
6. So many varieties (homogenized, coffeemate)
7. Video Killed The Radio Star
8. SHUT THE FUCK UP!
9. It really does go QUITE WELL with chocolate
10. Radio killed the VIDEO star?!?! (Think about it.)
11. Semen implications = GOLD... WHITE gold.
12. See 11 (cummmmm)
13. No batteries required ;)
14. Tons of cereal sold daily
15. Potential radio ad campaign
16. Breast feeding is fun
17. White on black looks killer on a billboard in Pasadena
18. The Pull-Out Method
19. Because sometimes the answer to the question is "No."
20. Milk unicorn
21. Is necessary for hundreds, nay, THOUSANDS, of recipes
22. Cows
23. Got soda? (HAHAHAHHAHA)
24. Don't underestimate the importance of the cum thing we mentioned earlier.
25. Picnics, etc.
26. Because movie and television and music (and video) stars all LOVE it's delicious taste.
27. Apple Quicktime
28. The Land of Milk and.... (ocean wave sounds)
29. Reminiscent of Titty-Sucking
30. JURASSSSIC MIIILK
31. "From the beginning of time"
32. You want the milk... YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE MILK!!!
33. Director of American Beauty, Sam Mendes
34. Remember the one with the kid from Home Improvement that prefers the company of men?
35. Magnesia!
36. Comes from cow-tummies
37. Polishing brass
38. Because what if there was a million times as much milk on the celebrity's lip and they drowned in it.
39. Chinese milk torture
40. It does a body BAAAAAD (opposites attract)
41. S.P.E.R.M.

EPILOGUE - A short history of milk (for context): Milk has been in the solar system for many years. It has nutrients and vitamins so drink it for sports. Did you know that milk sometimes has hormones? Hormones are always good for you because they are enriching. I wonder if dinosaurs drank milk!?!?! :)

Appendix:

pawsopenhead: I think this is funny, but looking over it afresh, no one is going to get any of these
sweet boy guy: they shouldn't
pawsopenhead: but won't they resent us for making them feel stupid?
sweet boy guy: don't you think the [second] title implies that they shouldn't understand
pawsopenhead: i dont think theyll understand the title
pawsopenhead: unless they know its you and jason who're bored at work
sweet boy guy: ill make it make sense
sweet boy guy: i mean
sweet boy guy: at the very least make people think we are the idiots, so they don't
pawsopenhead: bear in mind, i think its funny. but i know you guys.
pawsopenhead: i think someone reading in say, chicago, will just go, what? what's the joke?
sweet boy guy: i think the subtitle implies we know it makes no sense
sweet boy guy: and some pics will spice it up
sweet boy guy: and the intro makes no sense
pawsopenhead: well, yeah
pawsopenhead: it doesnt make sense
pawsopenhead: but here i am in chicago, wasting time at work
sweet boy guy: no you're not
pawsopenhead: yes, I totally am! And though i like the phrase "At work, Sleep Deprived and Psychotic" I'm not sure if that's part of the title or what, and i'm not sure who it refers to
pawsopenhead: And I don't know that this is a site by a bunch of guys who write features at work
sweet boy guy: so what you are trying to say is... DANGER
pawsopenhead: hahaha
pawsopenhead: kind of.
sweet boy guy: DANGER FEATURE
pawsopenhead: RED ALERT
sweet boy guy: "smoke detector says: DANGER WARNING"
sweet boy guy: i will just go ahead and include this transcript at the bottom
pawsopenhead: hahaha
pawsopenhead: ok
sweet boy guy: seriously. so say something mildly retarded to end it
pawsopenhead: jamie, we just lost a lot of chicago readers
pawsopenhead: this will cost us millions
sweet boy guy: "But I've kept my pride."
pawsopenhead: damn it, i thought i got the last word
sweet boy guy: suck it.


[2.23] My Turn #1 / My Turn #2
[2.21] Manicorn's Lessons
[2.15] The Beard Portraits
[2.08] Original Hardy Boys Covers
[2.05] Favorite Workplace Memos
More...
[3.30] Baby Got Book (Worst Thing Ever?)
[3.29] Froggy Nana
[3.24] JTT Super Site!
[3.23] Mind The Gap
[3.22] Too good to be true!
More...
lunchboxing.com 2003 | all content © | all rights reserved | suck it so hard | feel the rhythm of the night