|
The Good
|
The Bad
|
|
|
|
Wonderful with children.
|
Extremely abusive to puppies and kittens.
|
|
Notable philantropist.
|
Selfish in bed.
|
|
Looks you in the eye when speaking to you, always gives a firm handshake.
|
Can't throw a football for shit.
|
|
One of the most groundbreaking female comedians of all time.
|
Diet consists soley of Del Taco Macho Burritos
|
|
Staunch advocate of Women's Rights.
|
Really into contemporary Reggae.
|
|
Volunteers weekly at a VA Hospital.
|
Steals from her close friends' purses.
|
|
Trailblazed a path for women comedians such as Sara Silverman.
|
Trailblazed a path for women comedians such as Ellen DeGeneres
|
|
Lives a modest lifestyle despite her wealth.
|
Hates "them damn job stealin' immigrants".
|
|
Raised her daughter to be an upstanding and model citizen.
|
Leads a group of activists who's aim is to reinstate slavery.
|
|
Known for having Hollywood's biggest sweet tooth.
|
Has the bowels of a 90 year old man.
|
|
Never lost a game of Monopoly.
|
Cheats at Monopoly.
|
|
Has travelled on all 7 Continents.
|
Believes genocide is "not without it's merits."
|
|
Only uses bio-degradable products.
|
Has a mantle made entirely of bald eagle and panda bones.
|
|
Visits sick children in orphanages every Christmas.
|
Only eats non dolphin-safe tuna.
|
|
Voted "Most Likely To Succeed" by her peers in High School.
|
Kidnapped a boy at a liquor store.
|
|
Treats handi-capped people with respect and dignity.
|
Single-handedly masterminded September 11th.
|
|
Got a respectable 1120 on her SAT's.
|
Can't quite grasp the concept of "punctuation".
|
|
Owns every Beatles album.
|
Owns every Paul McCartney album.
|
|
Memorized every state capital in alphabetical order.
|
Can't remember name of first-born.
|
|
Has the tendency to sunbathe in the nude.
|
Has a tendency to sunbathe in the nude.
|
|
Once held a sit-in at the L.A. County Zoo for the humane treatment of animals.
|
Literally eats babies.
|
|
Loves The Great Outdoors.
|
Loves The Great Outdoors (Dan Aykroyd/John Candy film)
|
|
Did some work with the Peace Corps in the early 1990's.
|
Convicted arsonist.
|
|
Appreciates the simpler things in life.
|
Shits in a small hole she dug in her lawn and wipes with weathered cardboard.
|
|
Appeared on three episodes of Saturday Night Live.
|
Appeared on three episodes of Full House.
|
|
Overcame her childhood stagefright.
|
Dabney Coleman has a restraining order against her.
|
|
Has a beautiful and well-decorated home.
|
Guest room has a Confederate flag bed spread.
|
|
Enjoys giving oral sex.
|
Enjoys receiving oral sex.
|
|
Has made $200,000 in the stock market, making sound investments in these particularly trying times.
|
Sold her newborn child to a strange Russian man for 20 bucks and a box of smokes.
|
|
Has never received a driving ticket.
|
Sells crack to inner city youths.
|
|
The author of several wildly entertaining and successful books.
|
Once took it from both sides for half a gram of coke.
|
