|
 |
When a Party's a Party by frankie koeller It's the year 2003 and it's time for all of us to lay aside our presumptions and fears and embrace a whole new kind of "reality" when it comes to partying. The "reality" I'm talking about is not the kind of reality that is so spuriously depicted on television. I'm trying to differentiate between what is bogus partying and what is legitimately "real". I'm sure most of you went to some kind of new years affair a couple of weeks ago, and I'm confident that your experiences were satisfying. But to call what you people attended a "real" party would most likely be false. Allow me to elaborate: Think back to a period of time called the 80's; about all those teenage movies you would watch with such captivation. What were they doing at those parties? Try and think back to last weekend when you were watching football and your eyes were bombarded with beer commercials. At what point does a beer commercial party become a bonafide rager? To be quite honest I've never been to one of these "real" parties as depicted in ads. But at least I know one when I see one. Here's what I mean: Scenario- You're standing around at a friend's birthday party. Its 12:30 a.m. and you've exhausted the six-pack of Heineken you brought over and have already started finishing people's drinks that are sitting on the kitchen counter. You begin to sweat and shake a little and decide on having a cigarette outside with your friend Jimmy. Putting out the cigarette halfway through seems like a good idea because now you're spinning a little more. You walk back inside the house at the same time the DJ puts Photograph on by Def Leppard. This is the point where you and the party start to cross-over. You blindly grab the first girl in the vicinity and throw her up in the air so she is now SITTING ON YOUR SHOULDERS. There is a quick flash of bright light and someone on the porch witnessing your stunt yells "Wooooo-Hooooo!!!" People begin to react to your disgusting display, and before you can go back to the other side, your heavy drunk-ass friend has now been joined by a few other sodden ladies. Their arms flailing with reckless abandon, ripping down ceiling fans and hitting their heads on doorways, these people realizing that they, as party-people, have officially reached authenticity. The rest of the party becomes a haze of guys arm wrestling girls and poorly executed haircuts. But to know deep in your heart that you were a part of a perfect and unadulterated party is worth the horrible embarrassment of waking up naked on the kitchen floor of another party an hour later, surrounded by people you've never seen before. This has actually happened to people. So in case you missed it and I have to spell it out for you, the point at which a party becomes a "real" party is when A GIRL RIDES ON A GUYS SHOULDERS. OK? I understand it may sound pretty manageable, but I dare you to go ahead and try it sometime. Just not at my birthday party. 
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
| lunchboxing.com 2003 | all content © | all rights reserved | suck it so hard | feel the rhythm of the night |
