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 34 Adjectives or Phrases That Could be Used to Describe The Hulk's Junk by alfie fonchino With the new "Hulk" movie about to hit theaters, now is as good a time as ever to raise the age-old question: What happens to Bruce Banner's penis when he turns into the Hulk? Clearly, the answer is that it becomes a Hulk-penis, but that of course begs another question: What exactly does Hulk-cock look like? We may never know for sure, but that's no reason we shouldn't speculate. Here are the 34 words and phrases that might possibly capture the essence of the Hulk's mutated genitalia. 34. Scary 33. Radioactive 32. Like a horse penis, but larger 31. Immense 30. Big, but not as big as I thought it'd be 29. Unsmall 28. Capable of making grown men cry 27. Foaming pipe snake 26. Not the biggest Madonna has seen 25. Wrinkly 24. Smelly 23. Oscar the Grouch 22. Stiff Bizkit 21. You know those guitars that are, like, two guitars? 20. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Head 19. The movie "Big," starring Tom Hanks 18. Wow 17. More bendy than a silly straw 16. I can't believe it's not horse penis! 15. Veiny 14. Ununcircumcised 13. That's not a knife. That's a knife! 12. Spoiled salami 11. The humonga cowabunga from down unda 10. Literally nine inches around 9. The Christmas Tree 8. Capable of rational thought 7. A companion piece to J. Lo's butt 6. 2003 Viagra Spokes-penis 5. Honestly, a little ostentatious 4. A mouthful 3. Barely being held in check by those purple trousers and finally: 2. Large 1. Green Next week: An in-depth conversation with a noted Los Angeles stylist regarding Wolverine's pubic-hair. |
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