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by stephen cody Artist and Album: Various Artists Soundtrack to Lost in Translation Cheese: Port Salut Bread: Metropolis Baking Company Pane di Altamura Golden Duram Welcome back. This weekend I was left to make some complicated decisions, food-wise, because I was shopping at Whole Foods. Everything at Whole Foods really is top quality, but you definitely pay for it. Anyway, my shopping compatriot and I were in line when I realized that we really needed something besides the sharp, rennet-free cheddar that I had already picked up. I made a quick dash for the cheese section, where the bored, condescending alterna-babes gave me the rundown on what was hot and not in the cheese world. I explained the predicament; I was to watch a few sporting events, and wanted something spreadable but different than the usual brie. They pointed me in a few different directions, and then finally gave me a sample of the Port Salut. I was transformed and sent sailing on a bizarre journey across my taste buds... How could one cheese be both so sharp and so smooth, and so creamy yet so robust? The vague, carrot-like scent of the rind took me back to a time when I first discovered muenster; the complexity of its sharp flavor spread across my tongue like a drop of potent single malt. Then, in the sort of rush decision only made when your friend is about ready to pay in a line with 10 people in it, I grabbed some of the double brie after being assured that it was the best standard brie in the store. It was indeed delicious, but for the rest of the day, I longed for the Port Salut. 
You can imagine my surprise when I found this very cheese at the Montclair Safeway. I was intending on reviewing a somewhat challenging havarti, but knew that I had to ease the longing in my heart. I had to have the Port Salut. It is now, cheese, bread, and sliced Granny Smith apple on hand, that I bring you this review. The soundtrack starts with "Intro/Tokyo," which is basically noise. The reason I am so stoked about this album is because Kevin Shields finally got off his ass and recorded not one, but FOUR SONGS!!! Any fellow My Bloody Valentine fans should certainly check this out just for that. Track two is one such song called "City Girl," which has an oddly traditional sound and chord structure. Sort of as if Neil Young had accidentally left one of his songs in Kevin's studio. Still some hints of the unique guitar technique and sound that he pioneered with MBV, but none of the sonic fireworks stoned MBV fans might want. Quite a pretty piece of work if you like drone-style vocals. This cheese goes quite well with the apple slices. It's amazing how quickly Granny Smith apples go brown. It seems to take less than 2 minutes and their white meat fades into wet sand. The bread is great - another soft tan crust. This one has vitamin C in it... I have no idea if that offers any health benefits, but who can be surprised when the bread comes from Berkeley? The third track is called "Fantino", by Sebastian Tellier. A nice song for a soundtrack, but sort of boring and maybe a little too mellow. Good instrumentation. Sometimes I feel that these instrumental tracks could use a good singer, but I also feel that way about "Oscillate Wildly" by The Smiths - and try getting out of an argument you started about that one. I still say Morrissey should have sang on it. Track four, "Tommib," by Squarepusher is pretty damn good. Another brief interlude/soundtrack type thing which makes me want more Kevin Shields ASAP. But first track 5, "Girls," by Death in Vegas... sonic beauty for sure, even with those drums. Nice mixing. 
The hint of barley flour in the bread really gives it a nice kick; it reminds me of buckwheat pancakes or similar earthy flavors. This cheese really walks a fine line between soft and molten. At room temperature it would probably spread like warm butter. Track 6 is another Kevin Shields track, this time called "Goodbye." Brief and instrumental, but it's the sort of thing MBV fans have been craving for 12 years. No one makes this kind of music better than he does. High, shimmering guitars feeding in to mid-range guitars feeding in to the guttural, wailing whale-like sounds of an underwater baritone. The kind of loop I want to hear forever when I sleep. Gone too soon in 2 minutes and 15 seconds. Track 7 is called "Too Young" by Phoenix. Way too 80's sounding for me and I have no idea if it's an old 80's song or a new song recorded by some Jamiroquai jack-off who stopped taking the right drugs and got with the wrong producer. I'm seeing closing credits on a bad 80's movie as I listen to this. A great moment to eat some more cheese. Kaze Wo Atsumete comes through on track 8 with "Happy End." Far, far better than "Too Young", even if all of the lyrics are in Japanese. Quite well crafted, even if they'd sound like an up-tempo Norah Jones song without that groovy organ. Fortunately, they don't. Track 9 brings us to "On The Subway" by Brian Reitzell and Roger J Manning Jr. One minute of forgotten reverb on a drum machine and a hotly recorded keyboard - but wait - it gets trippy at the end!! Definitely a skipper, but I'm sure it has it's place in the movie. Track 10 brings us back to Kevin Shields, with "Ikebana." Not as strong as the earlier songs on the album, but a nice reprieve. Like listening to Elliott Smith's worst song. Then it's into a song from his masterwork: Track 11, "Sometimes" from 1991's Loveless. I honestly spent about 18 months of my life trying to replicate this sound with bigger beats, and it's probably a good thing I didn't succeed. There are enough shoe gazing rip-offs in the world... But it isn't hard to understand why. This song definitely takes me back and after the rough week I've been having it's all I can do to not drink myself into a near coma and move to Canada. But enough about me - back to what's important. The cheese and music! Epic song and a really good place to put it. 
Track 12 is pretty, mellow, and excellent. What else
can we expect from Air? The title of the track is
"Alone in Kyoto." Track 13 is also a healthy serving
of mood music - "Shibuya" by Brian Reitzell and Roger
J Manning Jr. Track 14 is "Are You Awake?" by Kevin
Shields, and this sounds like the biggest departure
from his previous music. Very clubish, sounding almost
like trance, but he finds a bit of his own sound in
there. Not all that great. Fortunately, the CD
finishes on a high note with "Just Like Honey" by The
Jesus and Mary Chain, another favorite old band of
mine. Can't go wrong throwing this on there as far as
I'm concerned. Of course, one can't forget the karaoke
version of Roxy Music's "More Than This" by Bill
Murray. It's a secret track about 11 minutes in on the
Jesus & Mary Chain song. I guess if you're a huge Bill
Murray or Roxy Music fan you might enjoy it. You know
what's up with this cheese? It tastes like a refined
version of those "baby belle" and "Laughing Cow"
cheeses we used to eat out of brown paper bags in
elementary school.
Final Grades: Artist and Album: Various Artists Soundtrack to Lost in Translation: B- Cheese: Port Salut: B+ Bread: Metropolis Baking Company Pane di Altamura Golden Duram: B Apples: Granny Smith: A- Please feel free to write me at StephenCody2002@yahoo.com if you have any questions, comments, or requests. All cheeses, albums and singles are fair game but the more elitist, the better. I prefer to write about singles, but albums are fun as well. |
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