THE 2005 LUNCHBOXING INDEX (A prediction of hipster trends for 2005, compiled through weeks of solid research, including targeted data mining, focus groups, online polling and stastical analysis.) (1) Vocabulary Expansion Realized through the intense studying of word lists and self-adminstered verbal SAT tests. Expect to hear hot words like "livery," "furtive," "turbidity," and "hermetic" by October 2005. (2) Pet Tricks Dogs and cats only, however. Expect a feature on teaching dogs to use litterboxes and teaching cats to walk on their hind legs in the November 2005 issue of Readymade. (3) High-Quality, Plot-Driven, Feature-Length Porn A nation realizes it's the teasing that really makes it titilating -- the awkward conversations with the pool cleaning lady, the dental hygenist, the metermaid. The lovable sub-plot about the cute dog who accidentally stole the priceless broach from the museum. Avilable on VHS in the oversized box in the Christmas 2005 Urban Outfitters catalog. (4) Merchant Ivory Movies From the 90s "Dude, yeah I saw 'Remains of the Day,' but I was like 14 when it came out. But I saw it again -- It's heavy!" (5) Martial Arts Classes Not krav maga or pilates here, I'm talking straight-up kung-fu and karate. The triumphant return of the white belt! Tim Byron lives in Los Angeles and slings virtual pets for cash.

[2.23] My Turn #1 / My Turn #2 [2.21] Manicorn's Lessons [2.15] The Beard Portraits [2.08] Original Hardy Boys Covers [2.05] Favorite Workplace Memos More... [3.30] Baby Got Book (Worst Thing Ever?) [3.29] Froggy Nana [3.24] JTT Super Site! [3.23] Mind The Gap [3.22] Too good to be true! More...

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