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A Four-Peat Conversation: An Exclusive Interview With Shaquille O'Neal by jeff berson It's that time of the year when the sports world is all up in a frenzy and shit. No, I'm not talking about the NBA pre-season, or even the NBA All-Star Game*. I'm talking about the NBA Playoffs! Things get intense, and most of the wanksters fold under the pressure. But not the big fella. I had the honor of sitting down with L.A. Lakers Center Shaquille O'Neal this past weekend. This larger than life superstar has led the Lakers to 3 straight championships. In addition, he wears extremely large shoes. Talk about some big shoes to fill! JB: Yo, Shaq you hyped for this year's playoffs. Going for a 4-Peat?!?! Hell yeahhhhhh! SHAQ: No, man. JB: 4-Peat homeboy!! L.A. is buzzin'! Holla! ! I'm gonna put some money on y'all bitches to run the table. Take down whiny ass Sac and then pounce the East in 4. SHAQ: I don't think so. JB: I think y'all could do it. I'm not joking. You got some bad motherfuckers on that squad. KB8, D-Fish, Horry, Van Exel, Eddie Jones. Those are some ballers, son!  SHAQ: We lost last week to the San Antonio Spurs. JB: Yeah, but fuck the regular season! This is the playoffs, cuz. You got to forget about that old shit. You think I remember all them nasty hos I've been with? Fuck no, I move on to the next trick. SHAQ: No, listen, that was the Playoffs. We got eliminated 4-2 by San Antonio. We are out. Understand? JB: No shit! When did the playoffs start? Are you fucking with me, dawg? Man, you're playing me. I'll check the sports section tonight. Now, letıs get to the real spit. Is 50 Cent for real, or is he another chump like Everlast? SHAQ: I don't think I care. JB: But you got to admit homey, when Everlast came out he was on the top of his game. He blew up fast, just like 50 Cent. SHAQ: So? JB: Just sayin', Shaq Daddy. Hey, what's up with that goofy ass Madsen? Fool can't dance! Does he get bitches? SHAQ: Ask him. JB: Cool. You should chill at my pad. I got these 2 ho's coming over. Straight freaks! I met them in a WNBA basketball chat room. One is ghetto, the other is fat. You can start off with the fat one, and I'll start with the ghetto one. Then we'll switch it up and shit. Shit's gonna get nasty! SHAQ: I'm going to go home to my wife. JB: One more thing, my man, you like R. Kelly's Ignition or the Ignition Remix better? I think they both be slammin', like you when you take it to Sacramento on your way to FOUR RINGS!!! SHAQ: Okay. Shortly after that, Shaq took off. He never came over to my pad, but that's a good thing because those chicks never came over. If you see SPARKFAN99 and HoopHyna648 online ask them "What the fuck?" Anyways, Shaq was one cool ass motherfucker. I believe he'll be that much cooler when he has four rings on his finger, tho. He tells it like it is. Other fools lie about shit and try to be all like whatever, whereas Shaq is cool as hell. He's a cool ass motherfucker, as I mentioned earlier. Peace! *Look for my special feature on the NBA All-Star Game with an exclusive interview with the Pimp of the Rims, Brad Miller. |
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