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 Classics - Lists - Columns - Interviews - Fan Fiction - Cartoons - Reviews - Guides - Fiction  Manicorn's Lesson of the Day
by Manicorn In 1971, a perfectly normal British woman had sex with a perfectly normal British man. Nine months later they gave birth to a son who looked like normal boys and acted like normal kids, except that it had one freakish, unexplained mutation: a unicorn head. The family moved to America (The San Fernando Valley) and rasied manicorn like any other child, save for feeding him hay, oats, carrots and bathing him in a trough. He was a bright student, gifted athlete, and a charmer with the ladies. He now has a Creative Writing MFA and teaches writing seminars at community colleges in the greater Los Angeles area. He lives with his wife and looks forward to having children of his own one day. More   Stop! Dreidel Time.
by Maury and "Top Dog" Hello all my dreidel enthusiasts! It's been a while since we last corresponded, but boy oh boy has it been a wild one for your Uncle Maury! The last year has been a rollercoaster ride and a half with loops and scoops and drops and bloops coming at every turn. And just when I think the ride is over, out comes another scoop to scoop me away to another bloop! Now if that mouthful doesn't indicate a Maury gone cuckoo, well than I don't know what does! What have I been doing, you ask? Well, I've got two words for you: LAW SCHOOL. More  You Can Make A Difference!
by paws o'henry Hello friends. With so many problems in our world, it pains me to turn to you in a plea for help. I would not ask you to open your hearts, or your pocketbooks, unless it was for a worthy cause -- but in this holiday season I must appeal to your Christian-Judeo generosity. (Muslims: exempt.) More  Urgent Message To Teen Wolf!
by paws o'henry Dear Scott, Hey man, I really hope this gets to you in time. I've been watching your movie, "Teen Wolf," and I seriously think you are about to make a HUGE mistake. More  Diary of a Car Jacker
by the LUBO car jacker It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be. Just look at the media today. We swim through our national cable news channels, all in the 50's, and no one ever talks about me and my career. Terrorism, the economy, the election - I don't care about any of that. I am a fundamental part of the economy, I hate terrorism as much as the next freelance worker, and I think my vote counts as much as anyone else. Should me and my ilk ever receive such a noble mention as to cascade across the bottom scroll of Fox News or CNN? Nope. It's always the same story: CAR JACKER KILLS FAMILY OF FOUR IN PURSUIT OF 1989 CHRYSLER MINIVAN. NEIGHBORS HORRIFIED. More  Laser Cub's Den of Democracy 2: The Eyes Have It
by laser cub I'm happy to report that this site has had some recent visits from people in Japan, Spain, and Sweden. I welcome you, international readers, as these are three of my favorite countries. I'm also glad you're safely viewing this page from far away, because here in the United States, some of you might arouse suspicion. More  Kiss & Tell
by jeff berson Hello fans. The name is Jeff Berson. Many of you already know about my wildly popular Kiss-and Tell column which appears in publications in the non-continental United States and in U.S. occupied territories East of Florida. But if you are a new reader, let me break you in slowly: I am an artist. My paint brush is my tongue. My mouth is my easel. And my canvas is your mouth. It's really simple: I have a need to express myself and I do it through kissing. But that expression not only takes form in the physical act of kissing, but also in its detailed literary complement. I don't consider this bragging, so if I come off as pompous or arrogant, then you my friend have some growing up to do. More  An Open Letter To Richard Kelly
by jeremy padow Dear Richard, First, I have to tell you that I have been a huge fan of Donnie Darko since I saw it in the theater back in 2001. I like to think that my telling my friends all about the film back then added to its cult status. More  The Mae Shi On Pitchfork: A Community Reacts!
by tim byron Pitchfork Media is known for being the most pretentious album review site on the web . Still, whether it's a love to hate or hate to love type relationship, it's hard not to go there on the regular, as if nothing else, it is updated every day (unlike some other content-based websites). Anyways, lunchboxing homies The Mae-Shi, one of the most rockingest and fun bands you could ever see live, recently released a sweet record, and Pitchfork was quick to lay on some of its' signature cocky-style criticism. Here was some of the band members and their friends' reactions: More Laser Cub's Den of Democracy 1
by laser cub NN began asking its employees to use more hip-hop lingo a while ago, with mixed results. But a recent episode of the network's Anderson Cooper 360 -- a news program as informative as it is awkwardly named -- made me wonder about CNN's use of one particular piece of hip-hop slang. More  Spring Greetings From Lou Diamond Phillipsby lou diamond phillips Hey gang!!! It's Spring Time, and that means one thing: it's time to start getting into shape for summer! God knows you don't want the ladies (or men, if you are gay -- or a heterosexual female) making fun of your super fat ass on the beach this year, so why not put in some extra work at the gym, or run shirtless in your neighborhood to burn some extra calories and look sharp and svelte. Here are some other ideas for you: More  Celebrity Image Rehabilitation Corner: The Olsen Twins
by the olsen twins Hi, this is Ashley. I'm the smart one so I get to start. First, we'd like to thank lunchboxing.com for this chance to educate people about the domestic box office receipts for our exciting new film, New York Minute. It seems that whatever we've done this week -- hanging out at the mall, chilling with friends, sheltering revenue -- people have asked us about the film's "weak" $6.2 million opening weekend. It's true, $6.2 wasn't enough to overcome films like Van Helsing ($54 million), Mean Girls ($14 million) or Man on Fire ($8 million). But it's not exactly small change. Take it, Mary-Kate. More  Three Things
by jamie flam Interesting Fact: A picture is worth a thousand words. Three pictures, however, are worth a combined total of 775ish words. More  Global Marketing Solutions: Coleman & Colemanby devon lester murphy As you may or may not have heard, Lunchboxing.com has made the very well-informed (we're talking analysts up the WIZDANG!) decision to branch slightly away from a strictly content-driven website and begin offering an unparalleled suite of tools and solutions as part of Lubo B2B Enterprises. More  Celebrity Image Rehabilitation Corner: Mel Gibsonby mel gibson Woopity-hoo, my lucky day. Some Web site I've never heard of has invited me, Mel Gibson, to write the first column for their new feature, "Celebrity Image Rehabilitation Corner." Yippidee hoo-dah. Apparently someone with a lot of time on his hands thinks my image needs rehabilitating. Someone who's never heard of a little book called THE HOLY GOSPELS. More A Holiday Greeting From Lou Diamond Phillips
by lou diamond phillips Hey gang! Happy Holidays from your "true blue" Lunchboxing correspondent, Lou Diamond Phillips! I'm here with five great gift ideas that will have your baby-tots clamoring around the Christmas stocking or Chanukah socks (Jews!) all throughout the holidays and well into the New Year, guaranteed! How do I know? Because in the 80's, I was in the movie La Bamba! More  Ask Montecore
by Montecore Dear Montecore, I am so angry about this recall election. Are California's problems really so bad that we need a movie actor to solve our state's problems? What kind of example does this set for our children? Rose L., San Diego, Calif. More  The Oregon Trail 3
by chris weisbart Of the many groups of people throughout the ages that have been targets of intense hatred, one of the most quirky are those fabulous, furry, friends of the earth, commonly known as-- the Hippies. Now I know what you're saying... "But Chris, The Irish have all those funny songs and stories about leprechauns," or "What about all those quirky Poles?" or "C'mon Let's kill some of those Gays!" But I believe that when looked at from an objective point of view, no other group is more inclusive and peppered with various customs and rituals than the hippies. Yes, like the patchwork skirts that they don, the hippies embody many flavors, varieties and odors all neatly interwoven into a durable and elegant "garment of friends." More  Jamie Goes To Hollywood 4: Making It In The Working World!
by jamie flam I have an idea for a movie that will be both exciting and special at the same time. I think I will call it Making It In The Working World, because it is all about a Midwestern boy moving to the big city to get a job in the world of corporate financing. More  Editorial: A Call to Action to Stop the Klan
by paws o'henry A closely divided Supreme Court ruled Monday that universities across this great land can make admissions decisions based partly on race, a decision sure to add to our long national debate about the best means of achieving true equality and fairness for all citizens. More  Editorial: Ketel One Kids
by nicole wells For years now I have been telling my mother she will never, ever be a grandmother. Besides wanting to see her cry, my main reason to say such a horrible thing is because I have no desire to breed. More  Da J Biz Sporting Machine: A Four-Peat Conversation With Shaquille O'Neal
by jeff berson It's that time of the year when the sports world is all up in a frenzy and shit. No, I'm not talking about the NBA pre-season, or even the NBA All-Star Game*. I'm talking about the NBA Playoffs! Things get intense, and most of the wanksters fold under the pressure. But not the big fella. I had the honor of sitting down with L.A. Lakers Center Shaquille O'Neal this past weekend. This larger than life superstar has led the Lakers to 3 straight championships. In addition, he wears extremely large shoes. Talk about some big shoes to fill! More  Cents N' Cents 3: Luring Cash
by jamie flam It's Springtime and love is in the air. You got a certain special someone and you want to show them that you care. Naturally, your first instinct is to go to a local lake, take your little lady out on a boat, attach hundred dollar bills to a fishing rod and cast them to the fish in a clever display of machismo and free spiritedness. "The fish is biting," you say with a wink, as you fake a power struggle. Then you carelessly throw the $500 dollar fishing rod you bought just for this occasion into the lake as your gentle leg caressing becomes a passionate love making session aboard the S.S. Frenchman. Sound familiar? More  The Baruti Column 6: Philthy
by baruti armstrong Having decided to let freedom ring from all of my best secret hiding spots, I find myself in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Philadelphia... the city of brotherly love. Although people were surprisingly rude for their supposed pnchant for being all about brotherly love. I went there for a few days with a bag, couch crashing, for what my friend and I both agreed would be a "new month's eve celebration,"; the changing of the month of January into the month of February. More  Planet Berson
by jeff berson Howdy-Howdy-Ho! Ahoy, my loyal vacationers!! After many years of jet setting around this globe of ours, I have finally found some time to take a load off and catch up on current events. Four years of backpacking in Cambodia, without access to television, radio, or newspapers, has allowed me to focus 100% on my travels, making them that much more meaningful and enjoyable. But before I pick up the USA Today, I owe my readers the long overdue article I promised everyone I'd write before my most recent sojourn, but never had the chance to get to: "Ideal Summer Vacations". Well, it's been a few years, but I think it's safe to say that the world hasn't changed much in that time. So with no further ado, here is a Summer trip that I highly recommend. More  Jamie Goes To Hollywood 3: Leonard, The Boy Who Paid To Be Cool
by jamie flam I have an idea for another great movie. I can't decide on a name though. It's a toss up between Leonard: The Boy Who Paid To Be Cool and Leonard: How A Boy Went From Geek To Chic, Back to Geek. Obviously they both have great rings to them, and I'd love to just use both. But let's be frank: A movie with two titles would probably confuse most of the general movie-going public, who are used to the one title movie format Hollywood adopted so many years ago. Let's not forget the Monkey See, Monkey Boo-Hoo/Look At The Crying Monkey, Mama debacle of '88. Although the movie was critically panned, I still think it was doomed from day one due to the double title. But enough 'being frank'. Let's move on to my movie idea. More  Separated At Birth 2
by quarterbar More The Baruti Column Part 5: The Melaka Walk
by baruti armstrong One of the things that I have learned about here in South East Asia, Malaysia, is perspective. Perspective, perspective. And as I sit here typing this out, it occurs to me that it may help you to know as you read this that for the moment I have been able to put things in perspective. For the moment I have been able to separate myself from the handle of events; I have been able to see the ridiculousness and absurdity of what I have done. As a result, if this is entertaining then it probably has something to do with the fact that sometimes the most interesting stories/the most entertaining stories are often those stories which spawn from some sort of awkwardness or danger or misery or heartbreak as the event(s) is (are) recollected in a safe and relaxed atmosphere. More  Lunchboxing With The Stars: Never Played Out
by jamie flam Saturday afternoon and the temperature in Los Angeles is sunny and mild. Down for two nights of vacationing in celebration of bully Chrissie Canino's birthday, members of lunchboxing's Oakland contingeny have assembled on Melrose Ave. to drink coffee, look at over priced Pumas and Adidas in colors that wouldn't match Mr. Furley's wardrobe, view scenesters from every imagineable scene ever invented, look for movie stars, and hopefully get into the type of adventures that make us lunchboxers. As we turn left onto Melrose from Crescent Heights we have our first star spotting of the day as MTV's Jesse Camp drives by in a shitty vehicle. More  Editorial: The Time Has Come for a Movie About Real "Super Heroes"
by paws o'henry Lately it seems like the "heroes" of Hollywood movies are less believable than ever. We don't need millionaire producers telling us who our heroes should be, or whose lives we should celebrate. Anyone with a loving parent, devoted teacher or wise mentor can give moviemakers an earful about the real definition of the word "hero." More  Adventures in Adventure 2: Las Vegas Paradise
by jeff berson When I got the call to join the Lunchboxing crew in Las Vegas, I figured I couldn't miss the golden opportunity. They didn't invite me on their first trip (a weekender to Modesto last year), and after many tearful nights, I finally accepted the fact that maybe they didn't want me there. But this time, I got the "Evite", and I was the first one to respond with a "YES! -Thank you guys, I can't wait". I couldn't believe that I was finally going to get the opportunity to hang out with Flam, Fazio, Betrue, Weisbart, Nicely, and Molloy!!! More The Baruti Column Part 4: Thailand
by baruti armstrong Departure Feeling much better after another short night of the sweats. Waiting for the bus at the bus station. Words/adjectives that come to my mind: Putrid Exhaust More Cents N' Cents 2: Fiscal Fresh!
by jamie flam Welcome to another edition of Cents n' Cents: Money talk that makes "cents of cents"! I have changed the format of the column this week so that I can address a letter that was sent to me all the way from a completely different state. The problems posed by the sender seemed to be ones that many lunchboxing readers could relate to, so I figured my interpretation might be worth everyone's while. Take a gander! More  Hot, Not, and FreezerBURNed
by dan fazio Admit it. You're not always on top of what is "hot" in popular culture. Nor are you able to quickly determine what's "not." Heck, just last week at a party, you made an ill-advised "Is that your final answer" joke that went over terribly with your boss's wife. Well, as always, we're here to help. Not only do we provide you with the most current "hot" and "not" list, we've added a new category called "FreezerBURNed!" When something is "FreezerBURNed," it has fallen so far below the radar that it is becoming cool again. Or, it is so NOT HOT that it is HOT again. Here's an example: Brad Pitt is hot. Richard Greico is not. Corey Feldman is FreezerBURNed. More  The Lunchboxing Radio Challenge: West Hollywood to San Pedro
by tim molloy Recently Tim Molloy visited his hometown of Los Angeles to accept The Lunchboxing Radio Challenge: Drive from West Hollywood to San Pedro taking notes about the shit you hear on the radio. More  Adventures in Adventure: The Next American Idol
by jeff berson As a kid, I always dreamt of making it in this world. These dreams led me on quests; quests that always ended up with me lying half-naked, bruised, and 20 pounds overweight in a receptacle filled with a combination of vomit and filth. There was the time I pursued my dream of being a track-and-field star. I tried out for the track team in high school, where the coach pronounced in the school paper that I was too slow and stupid to make the team. This led me on a week-long binge of Winchell's Cream Donuts, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Yoo-Hoos. I came home from my binge and my uncle, Wayne Herman, hit me so hard that he knocked me unconscious, after which I threw-up in the hamper. Then he threw me into the hamper with dirty clothes and wet underwear. And the throw-up. What a mess! Ê More  Jamie Goes to Hollywood 2: Pinstripe Surprise
by jamie flam I have an idea for a romantic comedy. In many ways it is just like every other romantic comedy in that it is a "love story with laughs", as I like to say. But what makes it different than other movies of the genre is that my movie stars Sandra Bullock. And maybe Hugh Grant and/or Matthew McConaughey. I am also open to Colin Firth. But who is in the movie bears no importance. It's the story itself that will tug at your heartstrings. And I don't know about you, but my heartstrings need a good tuggin', what with life being all crazy tumultuous and stuff these days, am I right? More  Editorial: When A Party's A Party
by frankie koeller It's the year 2003 and it's time for all of us to lay aside our presumptions and fears and embrace a whole new kind of "reality" when it comes to partying. The "reality" I'm talking about is not the kind of reality that is so spuriously depicted on television. I'm trying to differentiate between what is bogus partying and what is legitimately "real". I'm sure most of you went to some kind of new years affair a couple of weeks ago, and I'm confident that your experiences were satisfying. But to call what you people attended a "real" party would most likely be false.More  I Need Russian Woman Computer Programmer
by Boris The Russian Nuclear Scientist To the syncopated beat of the song "I Need Love" by rapper L.L. Cool J) "Enjoy this one, baby, and hang left at rainbow bridge of asguard to Boris heart." Yoh, When I am alone in the room sometimes I am the staring at wall and in back part of lab I hear Illanyia call she is working with plutonium then blows up like firecracker for the first time in my life, I need new russian woman computer programmer More The Oregon Trail II: The Excellence of Emancipation
by chris weisbart Ken Burns' "The Civil War" ended last night on Oregon Public Television. For me, and I know many others across this state, it was an amazing week of T.V. that wrenched the heart and made us learn a little more about ourselves through the great figures of history. More  Cell Block Party! 5 "Tricks" To Make Prison Time, Fun Time!
by jeff berson Been convicted of a felony? Judge sentence you to 8-10 years in the state pen? Don't worry!!! Here are some surefire tips to make your stay in the slammer is as enjoyable as a Club Med vacation with your sweetheart.Ê More  Compare & Contrast & Compare Again!: Chief Moose vs. Mitch Buchanan
by david kleinbrodt We are living in a very trying time. There is very little out there to be excited about. However, we we can find solace in the fact that we are alive during a time in history with two of the greatest sex symbols to hit a generation since Jessica Hahn and Princess Di. I'm sure you know who I'm referring to: Chief Moose and Mitch Buchanan. More  Jamie Goes to Hollywood: Teen Rabbit Wolf
by jamie flam I have an idea for a great movie. What makes it so great is that it is the perfect combination of fantasy, real life trials and tribulations, adventure, fun, and also sex. People like these things, and that is why they go to the movies (Although the delicious popcorn and soda pop certainly doesn't hurt *WINK!*). More  Lookin' Good! Fashion 101
by dan fazio Hey guys, are you tired of being beaten and pantsed by male models? I know I was. That's why I took my own advice and followed my 8-fold path to Decent Male Grooming. Read on, less pantsings await..... More  Video Games Cheats & Tricks
by mike spiegelman Dude, get more from your video gaming with our totally awesome tips and hella tight secrets! Radical! Totally max it out to the extreme, bra! I write like this and I'm thirty five years old! More  If It Ain't broke... Let Me Fix It! - "Dungeons and Decorations"
by jeff berson There has been a recent frenzy on home improvement, which I think is great, but I feel like the most important room has been neglected. It's the room where I spend most of my time. Of course I'm talking about the dungeon. The dungeon is the place where I can truly be the individual that I am without the world making judgments about me. Ê More  Today Was A Pleasant Day
by young tuck To the syncopated beat of the song "Today was A Good Day" by rapper Ice Cube. Orderly.. hee.. yes.. Heeheeheeh... Just arising up in the morning not so bad I get the feeling like today may be particularly RAD! No barking from the watch dogs, no smog And my housekeeper Nadia cooked my breakfast with caviar I enjoyed my meal immensley, but failed to go overboard More The Baruti Column 3: Singapore
by baruti armstrong The road to Singapore is south on a neatly paved stretch of highway splintered by Rain Forests on both sides, and traffics at points in between the three toll booths and two customs check- points from here to there occasionally. But for the most part, the North-South Highway is an innocuous stretch of road where even though the speed limit is 90 kph, one can easily gear it up to 140 kph for most of the trip. From Kuala Lampur we made it there in about 3 hours, but I can't seem to remember exactly what the distance is between here and there. More  Through Hell and Tobacco: The Jason Betrue Story
by jason betrue Today makes four weeks since my last cigarette. I was up to a pack a day habit, give or take, and dropped it cold turkey on the evening of October 1. As a means of celebration, here are a few excerpts from my personal journal over the last 29 days. More  No He Didn't! You Go Girl!
by jamie flam Dear Jamie, My man loves me, I know he do! But you wouldn't know it from the way he was treatin' me last week! This guy has the nerve to show up for a date at the Sizzler TWO HOURS LATE. I was like, "I'm outta here!!!", but then I decided to stay and teach him a lesson. After stuffing my face with six plates of Tiger Shrimps and making it go down with 8 glasses of soda "suicide", I collapsed at my table, and woke up disoriented in the waiting room booth area. That stupid boy never did show up, and I never heard from him again. Punk bitch. But I certainly taught him a lesson in what I call Shirology!!! Thanks Jamie! More  Solutionology 101 with Jeff Berson "Ph.D."
by jeff berson Its 12:30 A.M. and I have to wake up for work in six hours. But right before I visit Mr. Sandman in Dreamland, I want to end the night with some quality television viewing. After flipping around for 2 minutes I realize that something horrible has happened...TLC is showing Designing Women and Lifetime is showing The Golden Girls, the 2 best shows since...ever. Asking me to choose between those programs is like asking me to choose whether I like my step-dad or step-mom better. I can't do it, they're both lovely people and have been great additions to my family. Period. More  Weisbart's World!: Words that make school children titter wildly
by chris weisbart "titter" homo-sapiens-sapiens "de-boned" More Cents n' Cents
by jamie flam Budgeting smart is never easy. With so many impulse purchases at our hands everywhere we go, it's a miracle we even have enough money to eat! I mean, it's nearly impossible to get a shirt for less that 200 bucks these days, let alone a pair of 600 dollar pants. You can't eat a decent meal for less that forty bucks anymore. The price of gold and silver is through the roof! Shit, yesterday I blew sixty bucks in a wishing well! More  New Discoveries
by jeff berson Life has many ups and downs. Just ask Osama Bin Laden. One day he's the big shot over there at the Taliban, and the next he's on the run from the U.S. government over some tower stunt. That kind of reminds me of myself. Just a week ago I took paper for granted. Now I cherish paper. And so should you. Here's why: Paper comes from trees! It's true, and anything that comes from the gentle giants of nature is worthy of praising. There are many types of paper: paper from trees, post-it note paper, and $1 and $5 dollar paper bills. Who knew that currency was made from paper?? (I'm still looking into the possibility of coins being made from paper, and I'll let you know when my staff comes up with something. I have a hunch that it may be so...;))Ê More  Your Doritos Horoscope
by mike spiegelman NACHO CHEESE Flavor (Mar 21 - Apr 20) Life is good, Nacho Cheese, except, deep in your heart, you know things can only be nacho cheesier. More  Ask The Dead Stars
as transcribed by mike spiegelman TV Guide Announcer: Time now to ask questions to your favorite deceased celebrities as the TV Guide Channel presents "Ask the Dead Stars." Brett Dilbert of Hollywood, California has this to ask the late Vic Tayback, aka Mel on T.V.'s "Alice": More  Stinky's Photo Journal: The Scandinavian Makeout Tour
as transcribed by mike spiegelman Two mono-nucleosis free weeks in Barcelona/Copenhagen/Stockholm/Oslo/Malaga in no particular order. More  Five Things I Did On My Birthday in India and a "Sidenote"
by strict obeyer of rules 1. Got my teeth cleaned for 5 bucks. Found out I have an "incipient cavity"...this is my 1st cavity ever. It is small. More  Separated at Birth
by jamie flam More The Baruti Column Part 2: Little India
by baruti armstrong The day began like any other day. I stumbled out of bed, found my face and my legs and the rest of my body. I made my way with the mornings' Muslim prayer ringing in one ear and the latest Madonna jam throbbing in the other. I wandered like a nomad on the desert plains of some barren land. In the end I decided that I would take the train to the Masjid Jamek station. There I would be able to explore the markets that I had noticed there a few days ago on my way back from Bangsar. The markets are assortments of stalls in the middle of the streets selling everything from knock- off Louis Vuitton handbags, Gucci sunglasses, and Diesel shorts (although some of this stuff may be the real deal- I can't tell half the time) to tropical fruits that look like vegetables with names I've never heard of to handicraft items. I'm not too sure what isn't sold at these markets. It's hot, but not too hot, nor is it too humid. It isn't raining and by the weather clock that I use, i.e. looking out of my window every morning before I leave my apartment, I figure that I have at least a few hours before any sprinkles. More The Oregon Trail
by chris weisbart klickity! klickity! klick click! went the cheap plastic wheels of the hoover upright vacuum cleaner as I rolled it briskly down the California street sidewalk in San Francisco's outer Richmond district. "I don't think these wheels were meant to roll on the sidewalk, hawr hawr hawr!" I joked to my girlfriend Jenny as we walked. She looked at me sternly and said "No I don't think so." More  Lunch Spot: Nina Hartley
by travis lodolce The short version of the story is that she wanted me. And I used my thumb, the one held erect in the photo. The long story, the true story, is much longer. And true. Our early February escapade to Las Vegas was easily prepared, as the boys were in that wicked "between jobs" gray area of life. Thankfully the house was kind to us, fattening our light pockets with a steady amount of wins at The Venetian's "Spanish 21" table. While enjoying our paper chase, we noticed a large amount of top heavy women frolicking through the Venetian's gambling area. More  Bundy, Beatty, & Mac
by strict obeyer of rules Last night. After 14 hours of work at two jobs. I drove to a friend's house to return her cd's and a shirt she left at my place. It was midnight. More  Hey Doog! These Girls Are Bangin'!
by stephen berger Imagine my surprise; for the first time in my life, I found myself in a real-life Hollywood nightclub. Sure there was no one of actual fame within blocks of the Sunset Room, but the crowd was overstocked with hipness. The guys were so cool they had to wear sunglasses. Each guy had his own personally crafted style of facial hair and remarkably spiky hair. More The Baruti Column: From Trinidad to Malaysia
by baruti armstrong When he's not busy fighting off the humidity of Kuala Lampur looking for records, making day trips to Bangsar to drink whiskey with ex-pats, trying to pick up the local language, or trying to charter new "pool hop" spots, Robotsex writes about living in Malaysia. He warns not to expect anything too fancy from THE BARUTI COLUMN since, "I never make any sense." Not only that but he's sort of crazy as well as a hopeless romantic. Note: That hopeless romantic thing probably isn't true. More  Zing Patrol!:A Look From the Outside
by chris weisbart As we all know, there truly is no greater joy in the world than zinging your friends, except of course when you "zing them real good". However, some urban youths have taken the simple pleasure that is zinging and have turned it around into something much more calculating... much darker. I am speaking, of course, about the so called "Zing Patrol," a group of 3 grown men who make it their duty to concieve, prepare and deliver zings of such grandeur and tactical complexity that the mighty sting of their zings can be felt for miles, if not an entire state away. More  Zing Patrol!
by jamie flam There's perhaps no greater joy in the world than zinging your friends real good! Which is why this past Friday turned out to be an extremely joyous occasion. But that was to be expected, considering the night began with the arrival of Peter Von Pinnon and Eric Steuer to my house, as myself and roommate Mike Mott waited. When you put together a group like this, it's only a matter of time before some major zinging goes down, and in this case it took all but 20 minutes before Mike Mott got the zinging of his lifetime! More [12.02] Frankie's Favorite Records: John Cale, Jack DeJohnette, and Black Pearl [10.03] Review: Outkast, Nick Cave, Havarti [9.24] Review: Lost in Translation Soundtrack/Port Salut [9.17] Review: Broken Social Scene/Teleme/Pugliese [9.10] Review: Mates of State/Champignon Deluxe Knoblauch |
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